you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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