The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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