We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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