i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
