I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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