piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
