it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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