I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
