I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
