On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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