your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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