he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
