it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
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He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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