thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
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Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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