Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
