Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
