It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
