im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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