I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
COCAINE IS GR8
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
