perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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