Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
