I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
