I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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