Best friends brother. Beat that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
