I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
