i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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