He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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