Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
