There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
