none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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