quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
