i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
