i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's shark week go big or go home
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
