Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
only you would photoshop your dick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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