Where did you get a picture of my penis
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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