Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
