I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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