didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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