My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
