Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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