Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
