Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
