ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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