Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
