He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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