"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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