Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
