He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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