Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
