Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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