Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
