the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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