So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sarcasm needs its own font
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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