Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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