You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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