You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
