if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
