Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
