I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
