so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize