So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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