i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
