STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
