There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize