Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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